07. Enya

Enya always wears a hooded cloak, srsly.

If Nature had a voice there is no question that it would be Enya’s. Who is Enya? Wrong. WHAT is Enya is the appropriate question. Enya is the what you hear when Nature throws down thunderbolts across valleys and blankets Seattle with rain. If Alanis Morissette is the voice of God than Enya is the voice of Nature.

Enya is an accomplished Irish vocalist, instrumentalist and composer. Her albums have sold over 70 million and she holds 4 Grammy awards and an Academy Award nomination.

Nature doesn’t just have one voice (duh) but multiple and that is why Enya makes it a priority to perform in 10 different languages. Enya is so kickass she has enough vocal cords to perform in 10 different langauges at the same time. Enya has a voice so soothing and nurturing that it’s said that God plays it when he has insomnia.

Not many people know this but what actually goes into major sleeping prescriptions is not made in a laboratory. Ambien and Lunesta actually contain a secret formula mixture of “The Very Best of Enya” album. If the prescription companies knew I told you this I would surely be executed. A letter full of anthrax is on its way as we speak. It’s been good knowin’ ya, folks.

Easily the best Compact Disc or Mp3 Download of all time

When Chuck Norris gets tired after a long week of beating up bad guys he makes it a point to carry around an album of Enya. A simple playing puts all his enemies into an eternal slumber.

Chuck Norris will punch the fuck out of you if you look at him too long