06. Brawny Paper Towels

The smell of pine and sawdust emanates from this lumberjack

Who is more badass at cleaning up a mess? The answer is no one because the Brawny Paper Towel Man will clean the fuck out of any mess you have.

Refereed to nothing more than “Brawny” because the man on the logo of these paper towels has no other name. This is fitting because he is the definition of “Brawny” – Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. He may remind of you someone familiar with his qualities of a lumberjack; always wearing a plaid shirt and origins of working with paper.

Brawny is easily the strongest paper towel that has ever existed. Brawny is so strong President Obama used them to clean up the economy after Bush left office. Brawny is so strong that you could use it as a replacement for home insulation and even doubles as protective bomb shelter material. Chuck Norris uses Brawny to clean up the messes he leaves after he beats the shit out of bad guys. The point is – Brawny gets the job done.

The next time you have a mess that is FUBAR – reach for Brawny Paper Towels.