03. Jolly Green Giant

What is better than an over-sized green man who rules over a valley of delicious green beans? Whatever you thought of is wrong. There is nothing better and more awesome. Well… maybe if the Jolly Green Giant ruled over an underwater mutant army of robot green beans. That would change things.

Did you realize the Jolly Green Giant is 82 years old? He was born in 1928 as a young green bean. His story is similar to that of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the “ooze”.

During that time scientists were experimenting with different genetically modified chemicals to create more resistant strains of green beans. In one test tube scientists were appalled when they saw a mouth beginning to develop. Soon following eyes, hands, feet, and even a penis! A true green giant man! They couldn’t control the growth rate but soon enough his giant proportions finally came to a halt. They named him the “Jolly Green Giant” and let him rule of their fields of green beans.

The formation of Jolly Green Giant's penis

Next time you eat Green Giant green beans remember how much hard work he put into his bean fields and how the birth of a truly awesome giant man was born – Jolly Green Giant.